To my utter astonishment, my tongue-in-cheek post about how to break a hymen without a penis has become one of the most read on the blog, due to people actually SEARCHING THE INTERNET for the phrase “how to break a hymen.”
And I feel terribly guilty that there are all these women out there who want to break their hymens and the advice they get from me is slightly facetious.
I still don’t know why people are so worried about it, but clearly they are, so here’s the ACTUAL advice:
Option 1: Have a medical professional do it. If your hymen is imperforate, microperforate, or septate, definitely take this option. If you don’t know whether or not your hymen is any of these things, get a medical professional to check. If you’re thinking, “But I don’t have access to a medical professional” or “I don’t want to talk to my doctor about this,” then there’s something else wrong that’s more important than your hymen.
Option 2: Have intercourse. It’s how women have been breaking their hymens for ages. There will probably be a little bit of pain and a little bit of blood, but it’s totally no big deal, from a physiological/medical perspective. If your partner doesn’t have a biological penis, use a non-biological one.
Option 3: Break it yourself. Which means you need to know both how to manage the pain and how to successfully break it.
To minimize pain, use either (or both) a numbing agent (you can use oral numbing agents they sell at the drugstore for canker sores and stuff) or a counter-irritant. A counter-irritant is some intense stimulation elsewhere that more or less distracts your central nervous system from the sensation happening at your vagina. The best counter-irritants will be sensations to the other highly sensitive parts of your body, like your face, feet, and hands. Deep touch sensations – pressure, massage, vibration – will be most effective. So, for example, hold a Hitachi Magic Wand between your feet.
Drinking a couple of glasses of wine – more than one glass, but LESS THAN A BOTTLE – can also help. Do not, whatever you do, exceed 4 drinks, and no more than 2 or 3 in a single hour. Don’t be stupid about alcohol.
And to break the hymen, you mostly need girth. Gradually increasing the girth of the thing you penetrate with will make things easier; contrary to popular belief, pulling off a band-aid slowly results in less pain than ripping it off all at once, so don’t try to put a mango in there all at once.
Another thing to remember is that the hymen is just one of several potential sources of pain with penetration – indeed it’s just about the least common source of pain. The most common source of pain is friction. LUBRICATION is absolutely, positively, unambiguously CRUCIAL. DO NOT attempt to penetrate your vagina without LOTS of lubrication. If you really can’t get lube anywhere else, some oil from the kitchen will do.
Another potential source of pain is muscle tension. Yes there is a vaginal sphincter muscle, and you must relax it in order to penetrate the vagina. You can find it by stopping yourself mid-stream while you pee – it’s the same muscle (different sphincter. don’t worry about the details.)
And finally, pull out a little mirror and LOOK at your vagina and your hymen before you start any of this. LOOK at it. See where it is, what it’s made of. Think patiently and non-judgmentally about your feelings about what you see. It’s a part of your body, just like your elbow and your toes. Be as kind and gentle with it as you would with, say, clipping an infant’s toenails. Be nice to your body.
I can’t even begin to write about the psychological noise that must be happening inside a person’s head if they’re searching the internet for information on how to break their hymen. What advise can I give for that?
Take a deep breath. Relax. Pay attention to your body and its sensations. Pay attention to your feelings about your body, and know that you are allowed – indeed, you are WELCOME – to love all the parts of you. Okee dokee?
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Kissing
What is an arousing kissing technique?
Just one arousing kissing technique?
To begin with, remember that the perception of sensation is context dependent, so that a sensation that’s sexy in one context will be annoying or even painful in another. What qualifies as a sexy context varies from individual to individual and couple to couple, but in general they involve trust, respect, a fair degree of privacy, a lack of stress, depression, and anxiety, plus a sense that your partner desires you.
So step 1: create a sexy context, whatever that means for you and your partner.
Step 2: Soft and slow.
No, slower than that, and softer than that. Just barely touch your lips to whatever part of your partner you’re kissing; kiss them more with your breath than with your lips.
Then bite that part. Not too gently.
Travel to a nearby spot and repeat, incorporating judicious use of tongue (wet skin + breath = good) as desired.
The focused attention required is, in and of itself, good technique. What you do matters less than that you are paying attention to your partner and enjoying shared sensations.
Whatever you do, do not wipe your tongue like a paintbrush over your partner’s gums, inner cheeks, or the roof of their mouth. Your tongue goes between their lips in pursuit of their teeth or their tongue and for nothing else.
And don’t, for the love of mike, press your open mouth into theirs so that both of you bash you lips against your teeth. Pressure does not equal passion.
And finally, don’t CHEW on your partner’s lips. Nip and suck, absolutely. But gnawing on your partner like a dog on a bunny just does not cut it, friends.
Monday, 13 June 2011
7 Ways Your Relationship May Be Sabotaging Your Sex Life
If your sex life feels like it's fizzling, marriage problems could be to blame. Find out why everything from who wants more sex to who does the dishes can affect intimacy.
Having trouble in the bedroom? You might start by examining your overall relationship. Fights surrounding finances, kids, work, and housework can take the sizzle out of your sex life.
Marriage problems may seem insurmountable when you’re right in the middle of them, but you may be surprised by the impact small changes in your relationship can have. Here are 7 ways to make your relationship — and your sex life — better.
Bad Sex Reason No. 1: Being Disconnected
This is one of the most common problems Zoldbrod sees among married couples, and it results from living a harried lifestyle in which most days revolve around juggling obligations and couples don’t have enough time for each other.
“Between work obligations and kid obligations, the only ‘we’ time couples have together feels more like a corporate board meeting than an intimate conversation between friends or lovers,” Zoldbrod says. “In an un-emotional climate like this, deeply satisfying sex is impossible.”
What needs to happen to resolve this marriage problem: Make time to do exciting things together. Hire babysitters, take a weekend away without the kids, or get tickets to an interesting place or event.
Think of the financial cost as an investment in your relationship, Zoldbrod says. That effort is what leads to connection and trust in a relationship, which in turn leads to better sex.
Bad Sex Reason No. 2: Lack of Communication
People tend to speak different “languages of love,” Zoldbrod says. One person may like to give gifts to express love, while another shares feelings. Women are better at verbalizing their feelings — some men have trouble identifying their own feelings, so they can’t possibly share them.
If your partner is speaking a different love language than you are, it’s easy to feel unloved, which can affect your desire for your partner. Talking about how you want your partner to show you love can help.
When it comes to actual sex, talking is probably one of the most powerful things you can do, Zoldbrod says. Give feedback by asking for what you want, making sounds (such as an “aaaah” or “uumm”), or by simply saying “Don’t stop.”
If you don’t like what your partner is doing, ask “Can you do [fill in what you do like] some more?” or direct your partner’s hands, Zoldbrod says.
If you both agree that you have trouble communicating, a marriage counselor or sex therapist can help zero in on your problem.
Number one reason to get in the game during summer recess: air conditioned sex. I kinda want to leave it at that but I’ll say this, there is no better atmospheric set up for sex than air conditioning. Except the hotel room/air conditioning combo.
That’s the Taj Mahal of sex scenarios. I should mention, my $3000 dollar bed is on par with hotel bed comfort, my air conditioner has high BTU’s, and my iPod has a playlist entitled “best hookup music” . No shit. Those are my selling points this summer. No new clothes, no charismatic flirting, no over indulgence in alcohol just good old material possessions. Like me for what I have.
Memorial Day is this weekend, the official summer kickoff. Between June, July and August, you have 92 days to meet someone of interest. Consider it a personal challenge.
Bad Sex Reason No. 3: Fighting
Every couple fights, but experts say that you need to balance every fight you have with five positive shared experiences. The health of your relationship depends on how good you each feel about the other, so if you’re fighting a lot, you have to make sure you’re also having plenty of fun together, Zoldbrod says.
There are some issues you may never agree on, but it’s important that when you do disagree, you focus on the positives, look for common ground, and work toward finding a solution to what you’re fighting about.
Bad Sex Reason No. 4: Money Disagreements
Money issues are the biggest reason for divorce among first-time marriages, according to the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center. It’s common for partners to disagree about how to spend money, but keep this in mind: One of the benefits of being married is that you and your partner are able to keep each other in check financially. Still, as with any other issue in a marriage, underlying tension about money can make its way into the bedroom.
To help resolve these disagreements, schedule time every week to talk about your finances and make all of your decisions about money together. If you’re going through a rough time financially, committing to each other and going through it together can strengthen your relationship, which will help your sex life.
Bad Sex Reason No. 5: An Imbalance of Household and Parenting Chores
Surveys have found that sharing housework and childcare ranks third as a factor for how successful a marriage will be. However, women still tend to take on most of these duties, even when they’re employed full-time. Not surprisingly, resentment over who does what at home creeps into the bedroom.
“Housework is one of the biggest libido-killers known to woman,” Zoldbrod says. Tasks at work are typically linear — if you have a report to write, you write it, and you’re done. But household chores are circular and never-ending. “As one of my friends commented, ‘It’s like shoveling water uphill,’” she says. No matter how much laundry, cleaning, and cooking you do, there’s always more to do the next day.
“One of the most sexy and endearing things a partner can do is pitch in and help with household chores,” Zoldbrod says. It’s also okay to lower your standards for cleaning and laundry. When a woman has less on her to-do list, she’s more able to relax and get in the mood for erotic pleasure, she adds.
Bad Sex Reason No. 6: A Damaged Past
Almost a third of Americans grew up in homes where they were neglected emotionally or abused physically, emotionally, or sexually, Zoldbrod says. Growing up in that type of environment changes a person’s ability to trust others, and you can’t have a satisfying sex life if you don’t trust your partner.
It’s an issue that usually surfaces once a relationship has become established, and causes distance between the two partners. In this situation, seeing a therapist might be your best option to work through the issues and learn how to gain trust in your relationship.
Bad Sex Reason No. 7: Sexual Incompatibility
Probably the most common kind of sexual incompatibility is a discrepancy in the level of desire between partners, Zoldbrod says. If you don’t have many other areas of conflict in your relationship, you may be able to come to a compromise about how often you have sex. But if the partner with the stronger sex drive sees this as a total rejection and a sign of being unloved, serious problems can arise. “If the higher-drive person is often angry and pouty, the whole relationship becomes soured,” Zoldbrod warns. Further, if the other partner responds by giving in to having sex to avoid hostility, then that partner’s sex drive is guaranteed to diminish, she adds. “My advice is to get professional help for negotiating this difference, so that your marriage stays happy and strong,” she says.
Making these needed changes to correct problems and seeing a therapist for any problems too difficult to work out on your own can lead to a better sex life and a stronger relationship overall.
Saturday, 7 May 2011
Tips for....!!
There's an old saying: "Luck is when opportunity meets preparation." If you want to be more successful out on the town, you need to prepare before you go out. Here are 10 things that you can work on RIGHT NOW that will dramatically improve your game TONIGHT.
1. Get FitGet into a habit of hitting the gym several times a week, and ALWAYS do it on the days you plan to go out later in the evening. You should consider exercise part of your pre-party ritual. Not only will you get into great physical shape, but exercise itself produces endorphins that will get you pumped up mentally for the evening. You'll also notice a boost to your confidence, which in turn will make women notice you.
2. Get Your House ReadyIn preparing for tonight's outing, you need to think ahead and plan for a best case scenario. If you end up having some "company" later, you need to have your place clean and presentable. Always have a bottle of wine handy. Set up a few fun props throughout the house that will make interesting conversation pieces. Think Zen Gardens, a cool coffee table book, or a unique art piece. The more interactive the better! And most importantly, make sure your bedroom is clean, and your bed is made. They say a woman won't get into an unmade bed… I don't know if this is true but I'm not going to be the one to test it out!
3. Read Up On Current EventsScan the news today and stay informed on the latest celebrity gossip and entertainment news. This is perfect material for conversations. Even if you aren't that interested in this stuff yourself, you need to show that you are "in the loop" and that you get it. Especially pay attention to celebrity affairs and break ups (There's a new one every week!). Women will be almost too willing to discuss these topics. It's like candy to them!
4. Get PositiveNobody wants to be around a negative person, and if you want to be successful with women, you need to come from a positive place. Before you go out for the evening, relax for a little bit. Put yourself into a comfortable space mentally, and use positive self talk to eliminate insecurities. Try to remember a time in your life when you were particularly confident and successful. Try to recall exactly how that felt, down to the smallest detail. How did you walk? What kind of expression did you have on your face? What was your tone of voice? Bring that moment into the present, and watch how it affects your entire evening!
5. Pre-PartyThe Pre-Party should become a ritual you have every time you go out. Think of it like an opening act – it's a warm up for the main event. Meet a few friends, either at your place or theirs. Share a few drinks. Listen to music that pumps you up. Watch some standup comedy, or listen to comedy albums. Share a few jokes. Make yourself and each other laugh. This will put you in the right frame of mind for the rest of the evening.
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Glamorous and Beautiful Girls
Pakistani Girls are a sign of beauty, glamor, innocence and softness. The girls of Pakistan are very mature, determined and hardworking. That's why they always portray the imagination of every artist. In their eyes they have courage of sacrifices for their families and pride of caring for them. But Pakistani women have a very secure and diverse culture, They mostly wear hijab dresses, and don't want to show their body to unknown people. They just love with their life partner sincerely, They help their families and the society in so lots of ways. . They bear alot and live straight, paki women are the symbol of strong commitment. They are very dignified, caring and loving. All of these characters and qualities make them unique from others, these qualities also can be found most of the Asian women.





Online Dating Tips - What You Need to Know Before Dating Online
using the power of the internet, dating has certainly evolved to accommodate today's trendy lifestyle with what we call “online dating”.
When you aren’t that fond of looking for a partner in the real world, or maybe you are just too timid to try, then dating on the internet is the perfect thing for you. Here are some online dating tips to help you out.
Tip # 1: Condition Your Mind.
One of the first online dating tips is to condition your mind on the success rate of this little project. It's true that many lonely individuals have resorted to onlinedating as a means of finding their partner in life, but not all of them end up successful in this venture.
When you try online dating, you need to be ready for certain disappointment since not everything on the Internet is real. You aren’t going be personally meeting with the person on the other end of the computer, so you have no idea what's going to happen next.
Tip # 2: Look For A Reliable Online Dating Site.
There are dozens of online dating sites on the Internet, and not all of them guarantee a chance meeting with your soul mate. When looking for a site, one of the important online dating tips is to do a little bit of research beforehand.
Go into forums or chat rooms and ask different individuals if they know of any reliable dating sites. You can always ask your friends if they know one as well, since they can be very honest with you about it.
Tip # 3: Ensure Safety First.
When creating a profile with one of these online dating sites, practice a little bit of caution. Since you don’t know what kind of people are there on the onlinedating services, avoid posting your physical address, contact number, or your work affiliations. Your e-mail or chat address is sufficient to communicate with them.
Online dating tips are there to help first-time online daters who are exploring uncharted territory. If you want to avoid any problems with it, then understand these online dating tips by heart. Have a great time online!
Seductive Desi Aunty fun time
Indian house wives real photo. Indian Housewives are hot. Housewives are beautiful. What do you think about Indian housewives? How will you differ Indian housewives from western housewives? What about Indian women dress. What do you think about Indian housewives sharee. Are they real Indian housewives?
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